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"King" or "Queen", Do You Honor Your Own Crown?

Updated: May 18, 2022

Madam Uplift
Madam Uplift

What is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the words King and Queen?

Would it be monarchy? A person of excellence in their profession or talent? A significant other? Popularity?

Interesting that such short and simple titles are currently so loosely and wastefully used these days. Lately everyone is calling themselves or someone they love "King" or "Queen".

It's not that I have a huge problem with it but I do have a few observations. It seems that when pop culture fanatics tend to throw these words around, the true essence of being a Queen or King doesn't always translate.

Kings and Queens, "rulers", in the traditional sense have rarely been about exercising power or demonstrating beauty (unless they weren't particularly good at having a positive reputation). Sometimes, just the opposite.

There are very few absolute monarchs left in the world (having total control of their subjects). People assume that monarchs could freely do whatever they wish but monarchs often must keep in mind that their own people or own counsel can overthrow them.

Photo: Liam Daniel | Netflix

Liam Daniel | Netflix
Olivia Colman as Queen Elizabeth II

Kings and Queens must always tread lightly, even if they wear a crown and robes. Stories of Julius Caesar, Marie Antoinette, King Edward II, King Charles the I, and others throughout history have shown that title without mercy and empathy for others accounts for nothing if enough people hate you.

For the masses who prefer to call themselves King and Queen, the subjects have become social media followers, company sponsors, employees, supervisors, customers, and yes... friends and family. It is becoming increasingly clear that no matter one's status or bank account size, eventually judgment comes for us all by people in these groups.

Most people tend to forget that there are requirements that being the head of others, or even being the centerpiece for others, to be met. It means that owning your own greatness and putting on your best display must not only be for you. It must also represent those affiliated with you in some capacity.

There is a tricky balance that must be maintained like a tight rope between when to exert power and when to be a pillar of restraint. There is not always the luxury to bend or to compromise in order to appease others and yet there are times when diplomacy and collaboration are utterly critical.

When you are truly the King or Queen of your circle, you must care what everyone thinks while simultaneously not caring what anyone thinks at all.

Photo: Bennett Raglan |

Queen Latifah
Dana Owens known as Queen Latifah

To simply choose just one or the other not only makes someone an ineffective leader, but it further makes one incapable of fulfilling one's duty to his or herself, and others to whom one is obligated.

Having a healthy and high esteem for oneself is a necessary trait for survival. Those who cannot decide for themselves and would rather defer to others tend to struggle with mental health and anxiety. The fear of doing the wrong thing or upsetting others can lead to paralysis in personal growth.

In contemporary times, referring to others as King or Queen is simply to show reverence or respect such as in music or the arts for pioneers, i.e. The King of Pop, Queen of Soul, King of Rock, and so forth.

Many couples now call their partners King and Queen as a sign of respect for provision, motherhood, or fatherhood. (Note, if your partner is not providing for you or actively participating in raising the family, this title should most certainly not be used).

Let's not forget... some people actually are born with the name Queen or Kingas their parents gave strong adoration or worship for them!

But are we watering down what used to be a compliment? I believe in self-empowerment and self-identifying but I also believe the shoe should fit and the actions should follow the belief.

Photo: United Artists | MGM