If you are reading this then you can be counted as one of the "lucky' ones to have survived last year's Covid-19, family crises, workplace drama, bad romances, parental challenges, and personal uncertainty. No doubt there have been some highs in 2020 as well, and now that the year has shifted into a new one, it is here that we must keep the focus and hope.
No matter where you are on your personal journey at the moment, from being absolutely certain of what you want to being in shambles and not having a clue, there will always be some sort of new beginning and next chance on the horizon.
The fact of the matter is that sometimes even the blessings in life can make us feel heavy. We can appreciate the ways that the universe has looked out for us and at the same time feel like we don't have enough juice to sustain it or can't seem to make ourselves feel worthy of it. Other times we may feel guilty because we got what we wanted and it still doesn't feel like it's enough.
On the flip side of the spectrum, maybe this year you really wanted to just kill yourself or just let everything go. Maybe you had more times of feeling less strong than times you didn't. Maybe it has been a lonely time, a painful time, and a time of loss. Maybe it has been a time of defeat, of overwhelm, of just plain not giving a f**kness.
As we keep the focus on staying mentally and physically centered, we can manage the stress that comes along with the "doing" part of our agenda. Here are 6 strategies to pull you back to gravity when life starts getting out of this world:
1) PACE YOURSELF - Depending on our personality, our first inclination is either to completely stall and freeze or we dive straight into overdrive and action whenever we are faced with something new. Sometimes we are pressured to make quick decisions on others' behalf and sometimes we don't have enough information to make an informed choice.
The best thing to do is to be aware of others' expectations and respond with what you know, but take the time needed in giving that response. Recognize the sometimes the answer is "I cannot do X within this time frame" or "I need help to complete X by this time frame." If you are able to get started without burnout, then gather your enthusiasm and be a rockstar!
Add a note in your planner or calendar for the day before due date to keep track of tasks. If you do actually need help or additional tools, dedicate and execute a time to ensure resources.
2) MASTER THE PRESENT - This for me has been an area that I have had to give additional focus. There is a side of me that sees so far into the future that I can miss today's details, and then there is a side of me that gets obsessed with preventing the negative cycles of the past that I can spend too much time there, too!
There are two ways that I have consciously chosen to make myself slow down and stay in the present: scheduled meditation with a timer and fitness sessions. You can come up with various ways of making sure that you have dedicated time to which you are not consciously working to solve a life problem, such as cooking, painting, reading (doesn't count if you are reading about a life problem!), sports, etc.
You should come up with at least two things that would give you an instant sense of accomplishment once you complete it. Ideally they should be something that you can do in 30 minutes to an hour without distraction, therefore eliminating barriers and excuses about not doing it. Having at least 2 activities to do when you feel sucked in by the past or too overwhelmed by the future can help manage stress levels enough to see both with better perspective.
3) GATHER INFORMATION - That damn "unknown" can be a crushing concept when we are walking into things blindly. Nobody likes feeling their way through the dark in unfamiliar territory. One reason sites like this and YouTube exist is because at some point we are all wondering "how to" something.
Much like designing things, having the incorrect information or lack of information can result in undesired or unsafe results. A home, a tailored suit, a business, a relationship, and many other things require previous history of measurements or comparable situations to attempt to forecast how to properly conduct action.
An important part of starting a new journey is knowing what information to leave behind and what information is critical. Sometimes we give some knowledge too much weight because we are trying to fight against reality instead of being wiser about how to lean into it. We often expect radical change instead of wanting to do the work of gradual shift because thinking too far ahead can feel too scary or hopeless. Facing the truth can sometimes create an advantage if we allow ourselves to consider all of the variables.
4) RALLY SUPPORT - I know how much people hate to ask for help, sometimes; me included. However, in this world it is a necessary evil. Having the right instrumental, companion, or emotional support can be the difference between being motivated or being ambivalent. Lack of support can cause things to die, such as friendships, careers, businesses, projects, and other functions. Even our own bodies are designed with numerous systems and subsystems supporting each other to keep moving and sustain life.
Picking up after a divorce, a relocation, a career shift, a family adjustment, etc often requires support from external sources or online groups to maintain encouragement, a safe space to vent, or fostering of social connections. I point this out a lot but it is highly advisable to not overly isolate oneself during times of high stress. Much like a workout, bearing too much weight without the proper support and stability can lead to injury and imbalances that cause more harm than good.
Some key takeaways when it comes to rallying support are a) overcome the idea that you are a burden b) know your audience so only share what you are comfortable with others knowing c) go in expecting a yes but don't think the worst if you get a no.
5) GIVE CONSISTENT EFFORT - When heading down the path of "not yet traveled", only you can define what is consistent. The important thing is to keep a steady time frame so as to not lose discipline and steps toward progress. It goes without saying that "practice" leads to muscle memory and behavior change, so putting forth no "practice" means half-assed movement. Often we lose the motivation to get where we are going and becoming who we wish because we allow ourselves to fall off the horse one good time and then shame ourselves into not getting back on.
It is a big deal for addicts, athletes, performers, children, and other special groups when they experience a setback. It can be extremely tough to get over a perceived failure, in particular when everyone saw it or knows it. When it really matters to us though, we have to try again even through the humiliation. It comes down to what we decide matters. When we are in the process of change and starting fresh, we have to go into it knowing that some of the days are not going to work out as we wish.
A few tips to develop longevity with consistency are a) don't expect immediate results (they come with the consistency) b) make adaptations to interval, volume, or intensity if needed 3) be open to trying new tactics or consulting professionals. Sometimes we can progress further or more efficiently by reaching out to people who have already achieved a level of mastery that can help us think outside the box.
6) STAY FLEXIBLE - Full disclosure: I thoroughly enjoy the process of planning and having a plan but I don't like adding too many details. Plans that go left or fall apart altogether are stressors for me and I have to have the freedom of flexibility in order to stay tamed.
A major reason I had to leave my last job was that as a single parent, it would have been too difficult to keep a flexible schedule to run someone else's business while navigating my daughter's first year of school EVER during Covid. Although financially there are unknowns, I am thankful to not have the added stress of fitting my life around a job that didn't fulfill me anyway during this transition.
Staying flexible has enabled me to step more into my calling, which is educating myself to be able to service others into healthier mental states. Staying flexible has so many benefits to everyone, such as a) leaving room and time for unpredicted change b) opportunity to explore new possibilities c) less pressure to overplay or over-burden yourself d) fewer times it is necessary to re-plan.
I do my best to plan my top 3-4 priorities for each day and know that sometimes those priorities may land on a different day.
What I love about these strategies is they apply to virtually any situation. No one is immune to sickness, tragedy, bad news, or general life f**k ups. Bookmark this post so that you'll have it all year round and confidently visit the additional links below! 😘⬇️
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